Sparkler
by Cerulean City
Summary: We're never gonna stop going round and round. BurningLeafShipping; Red/Leaf, HGSS.


There's not much I'm going to say about this, except it was truly a challenge to write in first person. I hope it doesn't completely suck. I'm actually quite proud of it.

Feedback greatly appreciated!

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There's nothing quite like facing Red for the first time. As you climb over the final hill to where he stands, alone in the snow, you get a sense of how momentous the occasion is. You wonder to yourself how long he's been standing there. He's got his hands in his pockets. Casual, like he's waiting for the bus. Pikachu, his oldest friend, will be one of two places: wrapped around the boy's neck, or pacing around in the snow. He'll look up at you, at first a bit startled that you found his sanctuary. Then his second glance, the one where he _really _looks at you to size you up for your upcoming battle…well, that's when you feel tiny and insignificant. Where you feel like you've just been stared down by a Legendary Pokémon or something because you dared to challenge him. It takes a lot of strength and guts to get to where Red is.

I remember the first time I battled him. My heart was pounding as we took our respective sides of the stadium. I gripped my Onix's Pokéball tightly, trying not to let my sweaty palms drop it from my fingers. Pikachu dances excitedly by his feet, ready for action. I don't have any walking Pokémon, but Red's spent so much time in Johto that he does. I remember thinking that I might do the same one day, but then the battle was on, and I didn't think about anything but trying to survive against him. Of course, he smoked me, but it was a fun battle. I walked away satisfied that I'd gotten a rare chance that not very many get, and that's the chance of challenging him in the first place.

He definitely didn't expect it when I dropped out of the sky in front of him, climbing off the back of my Pidgeot with a carefree grin. His eyes were wide as dinner plates. He was focused on the road and the rocks in front of him; he wasn't looking up. He barely has time to smile and nod at me as I'm dismounting and recalling Pidgeot.

"Hey," he grinned. I knew that was all the greeting I would get. He's not a big talker, Red, but he's kind. I knew that he was genuinely happy to see me.

"Heya back," I replied easily. "I just came to check up on you. I stopped by Pallet Town and your mom asked if I would…" I ended with a little laugh that I tried to disguise as a cough. "Well, she wanted me to make sure you were changing your underwear."

The tension breaks with a nearly-audible crack as he stared back at me, incredulous. Then he laughed a deep belly laugh, and my throat clenched as I felt the familiar wrench of emotions well up inside me. He reaches out an arm and draws me into a hug, saying everything that I know he wanted to say but couldn't.

"Anyway, you up for some tea?" I asked him, knowing that he'd jump at the chance. "I brought your favorite—that _awful _smelly stuff from Celadon—you still have that kettle? If not, I brought mine, it's here somewhere—"

I'm flushed as I realize that I'm babbling. Me, of all people, babbling in front of Red! Perish the thought. But he smiled again, that same little smile out of the corner of his mouth and nods, pointing behind him. I hadn't noticed it before, but there's a cavern there, tucked under a camouflaged cover to protect it from the snow. He peeled back the cover and beckoned me, and I slipped worriedly into it, following Pikachu who points out the handholds and footholds to me. I look around when I reach the bottom, recognizing it as something similar to one of those Hoenn Secret Base things. A cot sits in the corner, piled with blankets. He'd rigged up a few lanterns to hang around the place, as well as a firepit to keep himself warm at night. I watched as his lanky body scales down from the top, and he tossed his bag casually to the side like he's done it a thousand times. The cover's back over the top of the hole, making a nice tight seal to keep the snow out.

"Wow," I remarked when he's taken off his hat and started lighting the fire pit, "this is quite a setup you've got here."

He again grinned that same little smile, the one where the corner of his mouth barely moves but I know it speaks volumes. He's genuinely proud. "It works," he replied, but not tersely. Again, I'm not expecting much of a response. The boy hardly ever talked, even when I knew him in grade school. I had fully expected to be the one supplying most of the conversation for my short visit. He turned to his PokéGear as it beeped expectantly at him. He frowned, and both of us stop shuffling around in our bags for the appropriate things we need to eat a short meal.

"Heavy snows," he clarified, "stay?"

My heart sank at the notion. Where would we possibly sleep? I had promised a friend of mine that I would meet her in Cerulean later tonight, after having tea with Red. His mother, _my _mother, as well as Professor Oak were all expecting some sort of update on his whereabouts. Of course, I didn't voice any of these concerns to him.

I found my head moving of its own accord and a false, cheery, "sure!" issue from my mouth. My hands went clammy and I felt some sweat break out on my forehead. I can't figure it out, but Red always does this to me. I feel like a Lass every time I see him, and to spend all night with him, in his little cave, in his space…what am I gonna do? Mentally, I scolded myself for even worrying about it. It's Red after all, and he's one of my oldest friends. He wouldn't dare try to cross any lines. It's me I have to worry about. It's my silly emotions that jerk me around at the worst times.

When my mental tirade finally finishes, I noticed that he'd already started boiling the water over his little hotplate. I wondered how many times he had to eat cold beans, squatting in his usual spot up top.

"How long has it been since you had a challenge, Red?"

The question blurts out of my mouth before I even can think to stop it. He stopped moving, sighed, and sat back on a cushion that's probably been sitting around that fire pit for far too long. Pikachu bounces around excitedly and ends up in Red's lap. I notice that he automatically strokes the rodent's ears, and the Electric Mouse gives a small "chaaa" of appreciation.

"Nearly four months," he replied hoarsely, "the League tightened their rules. Gotta have sixteen badges now."

I reeled. "_Sixteen _badges? That's insane!" I cried out. "I remember we battled when I'd not even gotten to the Elite Four yet."

He shrugged. "Mount Silver is tough. I'm at the top of it…they wanna make sure that nobody gets hurt. Not like a couple years ago."

"Well, that does make sense," I murmured. "That poor kid…they never did find any of the bones."

It's gruesome, but it's a hazard of working with Pokémon. Especially if you're a Youngster-Class just bumbling into Mount Silver for the first time, it's brutal. But his comment makes sense. He is standing at the top of the mountain, and if you want to reach him, you have to prove your worth. I honestly can't think of a harsher proving ground.

"What have you been doing?" he asked out of the blue, and to be honest, it startled me a little. I smiled at him. Knowing it's been four months since he's even had another human around. He just wants a little companionship.

"They just opened up this new Battle Frontier thing outside of Olivine," I told him, "so I've been challenging it. It's a lot of fun, actually! So, they have five facilities…"

For a while, we're distracted by me talking about the Battle Frontier. Red's never heard of it thanks to the fact that he's been on Mount Silver for a couple years now, and I'm having a hard time describing all of the different places to go and people to battle. I love the look on his face. It's a look of complete childlike wonder, something that you'd never expect to see on him, of all people. Red's a Champion. He's the pinnacle. And here he is…you'd think it's the day before exams and getting a starter and heading off on our journeys. He smiles and laughs in all the right places, and I'll admit that I lost track of time, too. The PokéGear beeps again, and his smile faded.

"Guess we talked for too long, huh?" I said. "Well, um…how is this gonna work? I don't even have a sleeping bag; I wasn't expecting to stay longer than a cup of tea. And look, now, we've drunk down the whole pot." I don't mention the fact that the tea had been drunk long ago and that we'd even had time to prepare dinner, and fed all of our Pokémon…I guess I was dreading this moment, because my heart started beating even faster than it had before. The whoosh of blood in my ears drowns out Pikachu's drowsy mumblings.

He nodded as he pulled me to my feet. Without meaning to, I bump into him, nervously, he steadied me. "What's wrong?" he whispered. "Tell me."

I can't manage to respond to what he asked. I can only feel his breath on my face; the way that his arms are around my hips. My brain struggled to process what I was feeling, but it wasn't bad. Oh, it was far from bad. This was the moment that I'd been waiting for since I met him. Ever since the moment that I saw him for the first time; since the first time I stepped across from him on a battlefield. My knees nearly buckled under my weight, and for the first time all night, I was speechless.

He bent down and gently brushed a finger across my lips. And then, while my brain and my heart tried to catch up with what was going on, he kissed me.

Oh, I could wax poetic about that kiss. I'll remember it to my dying day, when I'm on my deathbed I'll remember the fire that was in his face and on his lips. I'll always remember the way that his arms drew me in next to him, my body pressed against his. I'll always remember the way he groaned, deep in his throat, because he had me, finally.

"Red, we shouldn't," I said, reluctantly pushing out of his arms.

I'll also remember the look of utter pain and shock that was plastered across his face. He just stood there, nodding silently, already trying to put the thought from our kiss from his mind. But he couldn't; he struggled and I saw the tears well up in his eyes.

"Am I—"

"No, it's not that," I interrupted. "Believe me, it's _so _not that." I sighed and pushed some of my long dark hair back over my shoulder. "Red," I murmured, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, "you chose this life. I can't take you away from it."

"No," he pleaded. We bumped our foreheads together and he wrapped his arms around my waist. "You're wrong."

I shook my head as I felt the way that our hairlines rubbed up against each other. "Red, please listen to me," I said, "I _can't _take you away from this. You're a Champion; you're one of the greatest Pokémon Trainers that has ever lived! Can you really give all that up for me? I'm nowhere near your caliber. I'm happy to stay down the bottom of the mountain, playing in the Battle Frontier. And when I'm tired of that, Red, when I'm old enough to take a real job, and retire from training, I'll settle down somewhere and maybe raise a family. You can't do that. I know you can't."

For a long moment he closed his eyes and rested his head against mine. We swayed back and forth like there was actual music playing. I wondered if coming here was a mistake; now I know for sure it was. It would have been better if I hadn't ever stopped in Pallet Town on my way to Cerulean this morning. It would've been so much better if I hadn't dropped into Red's mom's house, on a whim, just to say hi. And it would've been so much better if she hadn't asked me to stop by Mount Silver, and it wouldn't been so much better if I hadn't agreed. It was foolish of me, so dumb.

My thoughts are again interrupted by the feel of his skin against mine. He keeps putting his cheek down to where it's just barely brushing my forehead, and rubbing one of my hands in his. He's always been a gentleman.

"Anyway, Red," I murmured, "I won't ask you to do that. You'll stay here."

For a long moment, we just turned in a circle, both breathing and thinking. I can't assume that he's thinking about me, but I know he is. I can tell from the very first moment he laid eyes on me today, that we were headed to this place, right here. I shouldn't have let this happen, but I couldn't stop it. It was like a freight train, an out of control freight train, jumping off the tracks. You can't help but stand there and watch it happen, even though you know that nothing you could do could possibly change the outcome. This…no, us, together. It's been a train wreck. Ever since grade school, when we held hands in the playground and he traded his marbles for me, after I'd lost them all to some stuck-up third year. Since we snuck our first kiss in the closet at my uncle's house because we were dared to do Seven Minutes in Heaven. Since our first battle, at the final exams, when I realized that I was head-over-heels in love for this boy. But I gave him up to his dream, and I can't quite figure out if that's been the best decision I've ever made, or the worst.

He noticed that I'd started crying, and reached down and wiped the tears off my cheeks. I burst out in nervous laughter, sobbing and laughing at the same time on his shoulder. "Red, why are you so perfect?" I asked him, smoothing out my hair. He wrapped his fingers around mine and used the back of my hand to brush off the remaining tears.

"Because," he replied simply.

"Because why?" I asked softly.

We drew closer together. He kept brushing his lips against my hands, trying to dissolve the tears that he'd wiped off my face earlier. I couldn't help but nearly swoon at the romantic gesture of him internalizing what was bothering me, to make it a part of himself. To grow from it.

"Because it's you, Leaf."

"I…can't let you give up your dream for me, Red," I said. "I won't let you do it. You've worked so hard to get here. You've put so much in your Pokémon and they've done wonderful things with you. It would…I dunno, be cheap. It would be way cheap, Red, for you to stop now and come back down the mountain with me. I won't let you do that. I shouldn't have come up here in the first place because I'm a distraction to you. I shouldn't have interfered; and for what it's worth, I'm sorry. "

He shrugged then, and I knew he was thinking it over. He was always thinking it over. I think battle strategies for life played out in his head, and he definitely didn't need me in the middle of it, tying him down from his dream.

He kissed the top of my head in a very fatherly gesture, something that I hadn't had in a long time, from anybody. I put my head on his shoulder and gripped his back. I was trying to feel him one last time.

"I won't let you give up on your dream, Red," I said into the silence, "but that doesn't mean I'm not waiting for you at the bottom of Mount Silver. When you feel you're ready, when you feel that you've done what you set out to do, I'll be waiting for you."

He grinned his trademark grin with the little hitch in the corner of his mouth. "What if that's today?"

I shook my head, smiling gently. "It's not, Red, don't kid yourself. There will always be some punk-kid who wants a piece of you, and you should be there to show them that you're the Champion; that you're the very best, like no one ever was."

He cupped my face in his hands again, and looked straight into my eyes. Even by the dying light of the fire and the harsh artificial light of the lanterns, I could see my face reflected in his eyes. Red. I could almost see all of my body in his eyes.

"They can have a piece, Leaf," he chuckled, "but you're the only person who has the whole of me."

No, there's nothing quite like facing Red for the first time, and really, who was I to rob anyone of that enjoyment? Of that first time you step up to him, ready but scared, just wanting to get it over with so you can slink off and retrain to come back and hopefully have a chance to beat him. I stuck around and waited with him for two weeks, until the Nurse Joy at the Pokémon Center at the bottom of the mountain radioed up and told him a challenger was on her way. A girl from Johto. I recognized her from some of the news programs on the radio. Her name was Lyra, and she was very pretty. When she came up over the final crest of the rocks, a Meganium trailing dutifully behind her, she smiled a smile that could light up the sky. And when she saw our hands twisted together, triumphantly, her face fell, because I knew she was considering how she could possibly win a double battle against Red and me. We laughed about it and put her to ease. She stayed for tea afterward, and Red was pleased to find out that she liked the same awful smelly stuff from Celadon.

But I know, that however many challengers he would have, however many people could take away a battle with him, I was the only one who would ever be able to truly say I'd won against him. Because he battled every time for me.


End file.
